Words To The Wise (over 60)

Excerpts from an email my wife sent me. 

I wonder what she meant by this?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Warning: Retiree--knows it all and has plenty of time to tell you about it.

Young at heart. Slightly older in other places.

Retirement: twice as much husband, half as much money.

Over what hill? Where? When? I don't remember any hill.

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

I'm not 76--I'm 18 with 58 years' experience.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I am in shape. Round's a shape.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along comes today.

I look in the mirror and there is this old person staring back at me.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck and jumping to conclusions.

It's not the pace of life that bothers me; it's the sudden stop at the end.

The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.

It was all so different before everything changed.

Age is important, only if you're a cheese.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where.

I haven't lost my mind. It's backed up on disk somewhere.

I never worry when I get lost. I just change where I want to go.

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

If I had known I would live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling."

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

I intend to live forever--so far so good.

I only remember important things, whatever they were.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

I'm on a 30-day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.