Say Aaaaaah! Then Groan!

Shades of Bob Hope, Henny Youngman, Groucho Marx and maybe Steven Wright . . . 

Let me tell you about my doctor:

He's very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, he'll go out and come in again. 

He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.

Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, so, the doctor gave him another six months.

While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."

Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, " Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied,

"Well let's just wait and see what develops."

One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?" 

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."

My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." he doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these. If they don't work, give me a ring."

Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later." 

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment. Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."

Blame Kenny Bochat for this one!