Huh????

My friend Larry Munsterman made me laugh with this one -

Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til next Thursday."

Watch Out For Sharp Pointy Edges!

The original intent of this series of Blogs was to relate things that I encountered in the course of a day that made me laugh. A few of the previous posts have been that. But, the majority seem to be jokes, cartoons or videos. Although these all made me laugh they just weren't the kind of weird, silly things that run through my mind. So . . . last night as I was propped up in front of the TV watching some educational program on the "Life Cycle of Grass and Other Green Substances Found Around the Home", a commercial came on. Now there are a lot of humorous commercials running nowadays but this one, tho meant to be serious, hit me right smack in my giggle bone. It was a commercial for an upcoming episode of "The Bachelor" (that in itself is kinda funny . . . "what's coming up next on the bachelor?") This particular spot showed the bachelor and one of his suitors getting naked and running off into the surf. With the intention of utmost good taste the more private parts (or privater parts) were covered by Black Boxes. My mind snapped, I turned to Jo and stated, "That's ridiculous, you know how hard it is to swim with those boxes on?" "As a matter of fact it's almost impossible to stay underwater wearing them."
I went on to explain the laws of buoyancy and other related sinking problems a naked person may encountered with such devices attached. (I learned a lot about such scientific stuff on Educational TV) At any rate, good luck to "The Bachelor" and his chosen one when they try to get more intimate (or intimater) with those Black Boxes in place. I wonder if that cold water makes those things shrink too?

The guy in charge of the "Black Boxes" gets a shot for his portfolio.

Home Sweet Hometown!

Well it made me laugh. I never promised that everything would make you laugh too!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofy5gNkKGOo

from Brian and Derek via Facebook.

I laughed, I thought about it, I cried!

Or why people go to Hawaii!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=xkk7DX0l95A&Lid=12

Thanks to old friend Rich!

Thanks For All The Info!

Thanks to all of you for all your helpful emails in 2011...may the ether be filled again in 2012!

As we progress through the year 2012, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.


I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.


I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.


I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Teresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.


I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.


I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore , and Uzbekistan ....

I no longer buy cookies from WalMart since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $ 1.00 coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician .....

Oh, by the way..... A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

NOW YOU ALL HAVE YOURSELVES A VERY GOOD DAY......AND A HEALTHY LIFE......HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Too Much Parteeee!

Yesterday we celebrated Grandkid Sebastian's first birthday. It was the typical whirlwind of activity with Saffron leading the Grandkid contingent of Sebastian, Eddie and Edie while the dogs, Tina, Snoopy and Sammy held a party of their own. There was cake and wrapping paper, juice and wrapping paper, milk and wrapping paper, cookies and wrapping paper, screaming and wrapping paper and a lot of laughter (and wrapping paper). As usual the wrappings and the boxes that gifts came in were as big a hit as the gifts themselves. The box containing a "Water Table" served as the center of attention for the three "older" kids (Little Edie, still in early stages of crawling, was kept a safe distance from the rumpus on the box). There were many laughs but this picture of the birthday boy pretty much tells the tale. This reminds me of the many after party scenes that I've witnessed in past years (some I caught a glimpse of in a mirror). I guess you can get over served at any age be it scotch, vodka or birthday cake!

Good thing big sister is there to help him stay upright!

Say Cheese!

A few weeks ago I wrote about why little kids smile at a very early age. This is just another example. I walked into the living room as (I guess) Edie was doing something cute. Grandma Jo was scrambling for her camera to capture the moment. I managed to grab my Canon which was handy at the time and tried to capture the real charm of the moment. I think that Edie has really wised up to Grandma and obliges her whenever she pops up with her camera in hand. You can almost hear little chuckles coming from her as she braces herself for the glare of the next flash. I've seen that look of "I'll wrinkle my nose or I'll just curl one side of my lip. That should make Grandma Jo happy!" I believe this photo truly shows the excitement of being a Grandma and the patience of being a baby. Jo couldn't hold still but Edie kept her composure long enough to allow for a "Precious Moment". Here's how it looked from my angle -

Here are some results of the "Shoot"!

"Now what did I do? Here comes the camera again."

"Hold on, I wasn't ready!"

"Here's a three quarter smile! Okay?"
"I'm outta here!"

Pun Intended

The funny don't always seem very funny but, this morning I got my laugh early . . .

More Christmas Photos

Guess they didn't like last year's gifts from Santa.

Hoping for a pool???
(Are you sure Greg Louganis started like this?)

Flannel is today's Lycra.
(former Hooters waitresses?)

Looking forward to a few more grandkids next year.

Also used for the Lands' End annual report?
(people like this keep my wife employed)

I'm dreaming of a Goth Christmas.

Either a run-away pine herd or a Gumby convention.

I feel safer already.

Oh! There they are!

Ever get that feeling?

Guess they never got their Lands' End catalog!
(nice coconuts mom)

Kids are all packed.

Daughter, Summer, Grandkids, Eddie and Edie and the dog, Sammy are driving down for a visit this week. This morning I got an email from Summer titled "The Kids Are All Packed" Attached was this picture. And . . . it did indeed make me laugh.

We'll get back to Christmas Photos tomorrow. The kids upstaged them today!

Christmas Photo Cards

"More eggnog aunt Alma?"

"Aunt Betty, you shouldn't have!"

Wonder who was on the naughty list this year?

PJ budget only enough for four?

"Thank You Very Much"

"Just look straight ahead and smile kids."

Pre-flash syndrome!

Where's Waldo?

"Present!"

Explain this one to the family!

It's a little after the fact but these still make me laugh. Merry Christmas!
I have too many to fit in one blog, more tomorrow.

Flash Mob

Must be Senior Discount Day at IGA.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xP5B1Oq_mFk



Thanks to wifey, JoAnne for this one.

I Think I Laughed?

Contributed by Larry . . .

http://www.tomrush.com./video_remember.html

Saffie Plays Randy!

From Jeanna and Derek who have watched "The Christmas Story" too many times . . .

This morning, I put a new down coat onto Saffron.....

Not sure where this came from, but she said....and quoted........"MOM, I can't put my arms down......waaaaaaaa....." (Christmas Story)

I put them down, and she popped them up again.....

Derek and I were both laughing...it was about 5 minutes before she did get tired and put them down.....

Hey! It Happened Up Nord!

Norwegian Love Story
Ole & Lena lived by a lake in Nordern Minnesota. It vas early vinter
and da lake had froze over.
Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral
store to get him some smokes. She asked him for some money, but he
told her, “Nah, yust put it on our tab.”
So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da general store, den walked
back home across the lake. Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes,
she asked him, “Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da
store. Why didn’t you yust give me some money?”
Ole replied, “Vell, I didn’t vant to send you out dere vit some money
ven I vasn’t sure how tick the ice vas yet.”

Direct your groans to Ken Moeller who so kindly passed this on to me.