NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Magnolia Bush in Full Bloom!

Just returned from, what was to be a little SPRING getaway at a secluded little B&B nestled in West Central Wisconsin. We grabbed the convertible, spent a few days with Summer and the Grandkids in Minneapolis (warm days), then headed across the border to Hudson, Wisconsin. While scoping out possible restaurants for dinner that evening, we received a call from Sue, the proprietor of the B&B. She suggested that if we were indeed planning to actually stay, we might want to pick up some dinner to bring with because heavy snows were predicted and we might not be able to get out to a restaurant that night. As she spoke the weather started to turn on us. Light snow was starting to fall. So, to be on the cautious side we called (actually drove to) Jimmy Johns and picked up a couple sandwiches. Armed with our trusty Wis. county maps and  Wanda our even more trusty GPS, we set out to find Shangri-la. We found the road that our Touch of Eden was located on. As we proceeded, the road proportionately narrowed and deteriorated. The good news was that as we proceeded the snow increased and visibility decreased.  At last, with Wanda's insistence, we passed the entrance to our B&B which was pretty much unmarked. A quick u-turn at the next driveway and off to Valhalla. Now, the road had become pretty lousy but the, third of a mile long, driveway started out pretty lousy and got worse. Narrow, uphill, partly paved, partly mud and gravel. Finally, as we came up around a bend, there looming in front of us sat Country View Estate. We trudged up to the large front door and knocked (I've seen this scene so many times in old horror movies, stranded travelers banging a iron knocker on a huge oaken door) the door swung open to reveal a diminutive white haired lady with invisible eyebrows. She was accompanied by a inquisitive terrier of some sort. She beckoned for us to enter and introduced herself and the dog when at the end of a small hallway erupted a wild eyed werewolf sort of creature. Fortunately it was restrained by some sort of fence. When he/it calmed down our hostess introduced him as Boris (very fitting I thought). In a little nook behind the stairway I spotted a large hulking figure of a gray pony tailed man. It was Greg, our host. He looked fairly innocent, but later, I did see him go down to a barn where he was sharpening an axe and gathering  up a bunch of rope. (I'm still visualizing Cary Grant and Myrna Loy cowering in the foyer of a haunted mansion) Sue showed around the ground floor. Pointing out the areas that we had access to. Then up to our room. Actually a really lovely, comfortable room. Showed us were the fridge full of wine, the microwave and coffee/tea were located. We settled in our room after meeting a couple more inhabitants, a giant calico cat that roosted on a six foot high scratching post/nest and a sweet little tabby who was not only sweet but three legged. (Was this an alert to what may be part of tomorrow's country breakfast?) Putting that thought out of my mind we enjoyed a sumptuous meal of Jimmy Johns and chips after which we retreated to the TV room downstairs. We watched our favorite shows, then turned in for the night. Even though there were still thoughts of Twilight Zone and Criminal Minds, we drifted off into our own Twilight Zone.
Now the scary part.
Ahh! May 2nd, Spring at last. After all two days ago it was over 70 degrees. Ahh! May 2nd, SNOW tons of SNOW, no electricity, no water, no internet. Only a three legged cat, a possible werewolf, a white haired lady with invisible eyebrows and a hippy axe murderer. Originally I was hoping that this be Jo's Mother's Day gift but now I'm starting to think otherwise. It's funny how circumstances can bring people into harmony. (by the way, we found out later that Sue and Greg actually met on eHarmony) It was a joyful time at Country View Estate. Boris begged for someone to come and play in the snow with him, calico cat just wanted petting and the three legger was nowhere in sight. (I felt pretty safe seeing as how there were no means of cooking) Greg went to get some guy named John Deere to help him plow out the drive while Sue drummed up some cereal and fresh fruit for breakfast. While we waited for Greg and John to open our way to freedom, we enjoyed a nice chat with Sue in front of blazing fireplace. Calico was curled up on Jo's lap while a pair of Cockatiels ran through their playlist. Finally Greg showed up to tell us that the drive was clear to the road and that the road was clear. Even though we were booked for another night, it seemed that the best idea was to get the hell outta there before the predicted second wave of snow came in. Jo had the snow off the car, I had our luggage at the front door and Boris wanted to play fetch. A couple of hugs, handshakes and promises to return as soon as global warming took over, we got into the car and pointed it South. We drove 140 miles before we got out of the SNOW. Cold drizzle was actually a welcome sight. And, the Fennimore water tower even a more welcome one.
Can't wait for our next little getaway. Maybe Afganistan or Syria?

First peek at our beautiful Spring morn. 

That's the Chrysler on the far left.

Lovely Garden view.

Jo checks on her baby!

Yeah! That much snow.

In spite of everything, the room was great!

Ditto!

And a fond goodbye to Boris!

PortaBob

During a video-conference this morning, daughter Summer mentioned, with great enthusiasm, that Eddie was venturing into the "Potty Training" mode. This immediately sparked my creative, entrepreneurtive persona. Eddie is an avid "Bob The Builder" fan. So much so that almost every waking moment is spent wearing a yellow construction hat. As a matter of fact, when punishment needs to be administered, it is often in the form of "no construction hat for . . . ". This beats the heck out of time outs as far as Eddie is concerned. Nowadays kids have kid-sized everythings made out of brightly colored, resilient plastic. There's workbenches, doll houses, kitchens (complete with running water) cars, bikes, lawnmowers, swing sets and slides and even little houses to play in or on.  "Bob the Builder" alone has a complete line of clothing, tools, trucks and every kind of construction equipment, all in bright (resilient) plastic. A kid can excavate his entire neighborhood with Bob's accessories. But, what is the main stay of every construction site? That's right, your basic blue "Porta-Potti". Line up all you little Bob impersonators Grandpa Ron has something you can't live without. And parents, what better a potty training aid than a "Bob The Builder" bright (resilient) plastic Porta-Potti? This is where you guys come in. I'm looking for a group of forward minded investors to help get this project off the ground. I'm just a push button away from calling Matel and Fisher Price. And . . . it dosen't end here. Imagine the other possibilities. Barbi, SquarePants Spongy Guy, Dora The Explora and how about a bright blue Smurf Potti. While you're writing out those checks, I'll continue to work on other color combinations for other Saturday morning heros. (in resilient plastic) Just make the checks out to me and I'm start sending you those dividends in no time at all. If we hurry I think we can make in time for construction season.

Eddie (and friend) head to the PortaBob for potty training 101.

Even though Saffie is Potty Trained, 

PortaBarbi is still big relief for her.

"Hey Get me Otta Here!!!"

There seems to be a fine, fine line between terror and humor. On Thursday morning that line was obliterated. Not too funny for daughter, Summer  and grandkid, Edie but to weird grandpa, Ron it was a laugh out loud moment. (LOL for the hipper bunch) During a busy, errand filled morning in downtown Minneapolis, with one kid going that way and the other going this way, Edie managed to get loose from mommy's grip and slip into a waiting elevator. In an effort to stop the closing doors, mom thrust her hand into the narrowing opening. Close but no cigar. She was successful in stopping one set of doors but not both. In so doing she triggered a mechanism that shut down the elevator then and there with her and Eddie on this side and little Edie alone on that side for a full forty minutes. Traumatic no doubt for all involved. hopefully this experience doesn't lead to severe post elevation syndrome or to the even more dreadful otisphobia. But, I'm sure that the stout hearted little traveler will rebound in time to take advantage of future big city adventures like "White Sale on seventh floor" or "Fifty percent women's shoes on fifth floor".  If not, what are escalators for? Now, I wasn't there but this is how I visualize mom's eye view of poor Edie1

Seems fine to me!

The other day I posted on FaceBook that I was having chocolate cake for breakfast. Among the comments regarding the post was one from old friend Gilbert Lee. He sent a link to an old Bill Cosby bit from years back. I had forgotten how funny Bill was. So,  for those who never heard it before, here's Bill. Even if you have heard this before, it's still awfully funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcVcRMS4ejQ

How a thoughtful Granddad provides breakfast for a thankful Grandkid!

Man The Harpoons!!!

Before

Last summer Saffron "won" a goldfish at the Fennimore Fun Fest. Typical spend about five bucks to toss a ping pong ball into a goldfish bowl and win a 79 cent gold fish (you don't even get to keep the bowl). Normally, after purchasing a bowl, some gravel and a supply of goldfish food, the darn thing goes belly up in it's fine new bowl. This is usually followed by a toilet-side funeral service and a farewell flush. This dosen't hold true in Saffie's book of life.  Here we are six months since the successful ping pong ball toss and the dam fish is not only surviving but has grown to outstanding proportions. The once one and a half inch fishie has bloomed into a, nearly twelve inch Moby Dick. The normal goldfish bowl has given way to a twenty gallon tank where (the name escapes me) resides. The question is, will Saffie get mom and dad to buy a bigger tank or will Whatsitsname become the main course at dinner one night? One thing for sure, there won't be a ceramic funeral for it. Too big to flush!

Present day

Educational TV (For Grandpas)

This past week Jo and I had the pleasure of "babysitting" Grandkids Saffron and Sebastian while mom and dad went off on their long awaited honeymoon. All went well as Grandma Jo ran herself to a frazzle and I remained in a backup/support role. Now,  Saffie is a notoriously picky eater. However this week she ate well. She cleaned her plate at almost every meal and didn't fuss and fight about any of the food.  That is until Saturday evening approached. At a loss for a final meal before mom and dad repossessed their family, we decided to have hambergers. Saffie and I were on the couch watching cartoon shows when I asked her if she liked hambergers, she immediately replied, "NO!!!!". I asked her if she would try eating one for supper, to which she immediately replied, "NO!!!!!!!". Not wanting to get into a food fight with a four year old, I quietly continued watching the cartoon show which happened to be Sponge Bob Square Pants. I guess it pays to pay attention to what the kids are watching. It suddenly dawned on me that Sponge Bob worked for Mr Krabs at the Krusty Krab and the specialty at Krusty Krab was Krabby Patties. The old Grandpa mind burst into action and without thinking twice (or maybe even once) I blurted out, "Do you like Krabby Patties?". "Yes!!!!!" Saffie replied. So for her dinner we proudly presented her with her very first Krabby Patty which scarfed down with great relish (actually catsup). Once again, Grandpa's childish intuition saves the day (or evening meal) The next time you're faced with a finicky, cartoon watching, toddler just hop on over the the :Golden Arches" and order up a Happy Meal featuring a Kabby Patty

Way To Go!!!

Saw this in the Newspaper this morning . . .

THREE NORWEGIANS VACATION IN MEXICO

Ole, Sven, and Lars decide they are going to Mexico for a vacation. They get falling down drunk and wake up in jail and find out they all have
been sentenced to die in the electric chair.

Sven is the first to be strapped in the electric chair and the guards ask if he has any last words. Sven says, "I yust graduated from St. John's College in Minnisota, with a degree in divinity studies, and I am a good Christian man ... but if it is God's will for me to die, so be it."

The guards throw the switch and nothing happens. The guards get on their knees and say, "You are surely a Godly man and we are going to let you go."

Lars is next to be strapped into the electric chair and the guards ask if he has any last words. Lars says, "I yust graduated from Concordia college in Moorhead, Minnisota, with a degree in divinity studies, and I am a God fearing man. If it is my time to die, it is God's will."

The guards throw the switch and nothing happens. The guards say, "You also are a Godly man and we are going to let you go."

Ole is the last to be strapped into the electric chair. The guards ask him if he has any last words. Ole says, "Vel, I gust graduated from South Dakota Tech in electrical engineering ... and I'll tell ya right now, if you don't plug dat ting in, it ain't gonna work."

Thanks to Larry M.

Just One's For The Gripper!

This is an old video with President Reagan in the front row. He is sitting along side of Speaker of the House, Tip O'Neil, enjoying an evening together at the Ford theater. A very funny act takes place on stage. With all of today's security around any of our Presidents, nothing the performer does here could ever take place now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=n6mbW-jMtrY&feature=player_detailpage

Thanks for a big laugh from Ken Bochat!

Yield And Other Good Advice!

On our recent trip to "The Cities" I noticed a road sign that got me thinking. It was a typical information/warning sign. One of those Square yellow signs tipped on its side to look like a diamond. This particular sign said, "CAUTION ROUGH ROAD". This made me think, what a great way for a county or city to save money. Simply put up a sign like this one which costs around a hundred bucks and save millions of dollars on road repair. Then, in turn, those same counties and cities could afford to buy even more money saving signs. Imagine the possibilities. To avoid rush hour traffic jams on a main thoroughfare, just post a "BRIDGE OUT" sign at various intersections or to really keep traffic moving a steady (speedy) pace, occasionally insert a "END ROADWORK" sign. Just for laughs stick up a "MERGE LEFT" sign then in ten feet or so, pot up a "MERGE RIGHT" one. For kicks I'm getting a "WATCH FOR FALLING ROCKS" sign installed at the end of my driveway and putting up a "DETOUR" sign in my neighbor's. And in a school zone, why not a "FAST CHILDREN" warning? Having trouble with a business competitor? A simple "NO PARKING AT ANY TIME" sign at the entrance to his parking lot can even the playing field. Give it some thought. Here's a few sample signs to work with. If you're nutty enough to be reading these blogs, you're certainly nutty enough to come up with some good ideas.