Adventures With Larry!

Falling back on my deep rooted Shakespearean background, I would like to start this blog by quoting my old high school buddy, Brutus. "I came to praise Larry, not bury him. The goofy stuff that men do lives after them, The good is oft interred with their bones, So let it be with Larry!" Having said this, let me tell about this past year's adventures with my good friend Larry. 
I met Larry a little over a year ago while Jo and I were having a cocktail at the "Silent Woman" in beautiful downtown Fennimore. After striking up a conversation we discovered that Larry lived just about a block away down 10th Street and, like me he was retired, his wife still worked and he enjoyed grocery shopping. He suggested that I join him on his weekly shopping excursion the following week. So starts the adventure. On the designated morning, Wisconsin decided to  treat us to the first snow storm of the year (if I remember correctly, the only snow storm of last winter). I figured that we would postpone our trip until the weather eased up. But, postpone is not in Larry's vocabulary. He showed up at my door at the appointed time and stated, "I have 4wheel drive and I drive slow". What he didn't state was that he didn't believe that there is such a thing as a straight line or a nonstop trip. Not only did we make two or three stops before leaving town but, he opted to go to Prairie du Chien, twenty five miles away, instead of Lancaster, 10 miles away. And, naturally, in these snowy conditions, it's better to take back roads rather than the plowed highway. In short, we left my house at 10am, we managed to get to Prairie in time for lunch (Larry insists it's dinner) by noon and returned home at five pm. The object being to always get home before the wives return from work. That first experience set the stage for many an enjoyable days roaming the countryside with Larry. On one occasion we left to do some grocerying in Lancaster and ended up having "dinner" in Savannah, Illinois or on a return trip from "who knows where" we pulled over to shout encouragement a an ice fisherman who Larry insisted was his son and only to find his son in Fennimore a short time later. I must admit on our travels I have constantly become both nourished and  educated. I have met more people in Southwest Wisconsin than I ever dreamed possible and eaten "dinner" at places that I never knew existed. And, I've had laughs on days were I would have normally been sitting home with my computing machine. All provided by Larry. Another side of the former teacher, farmer, paint salesman, body shop owner is his stuff. Larry puts to shame Tim "The Toolman" Allen of "Home Improvement" fame. Anytime there's a need for a tool or a machine of some sort, Larry's the "go to" guy. If he doesn't have it, he'll make it, borrow it or, if necessary, buy it. (I actually heard that once Home Depot called him to borrow some equipment) I must admit that in the past year I've learned a lot about "small town" living while trying to explain to Larry, the joy of big city living. Our meanderings involve some great story telling from both driver and passenger seats of the car. As I said in the beginning of this tale, I don't plan on making fun of Larry, but, rather, have fun with him. Therefore I won't mention the incident when Larry inquired at a foam products factory if they had any sausage for sale retail. Okay maybe I did let that slip out. At any rate I just want to thank Old Lar for a fun year and look forward to many miles of smiles in 2013.
I did do a little research into Larry's lineage and possibly discovered the reason for his exploring nature.

Some one, not Larry's son, ice fishing.

Rare photo of Sitting Bull with Standing Larry.

Larry Meriwether Lewis are being stranded by his partner 

Dick Clark in a Monroe, Wisconsin tavern Circa 1802

Teddy Beer

Did I mention, Larry's last name is Beer?

(no relation to Auggie Augsberger)

Recent photo of Larry working his way through 

the meat department at Piggly Wiggly.

The Joy Of Christmas!

Saw this in the paper this morning . . . how true!

Dead Penquin?

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?

Where do they go? 

Wonder no more ! ! ! 

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. 

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."  "Freeze a jolly good fellow." 

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you? 

It's so easy to fool OLD people. 

I am sorry, an urge came over me that made me do it!!! 

Oh quit whining I fell for it, too.

Blume Ken Moeller for this one!

Say Aaaaaah! Then Groan!

Shades of Bob Hope, Henny Youngman, Groucho Marx and maybe Steven Wright . . . 

Let me tell you about my doctor:

He's very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, he'll go out and come in again. 

He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.

Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, so, the doctor gave him another six months.

While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."

Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, " Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied,

"Well let's just wait and see what develops."

One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?" 

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."

My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." he doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these. If they don't work, give me a ring."

Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later." 

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment. Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."

Blame Kenny Bochat for this one!