Sunday, May 27, 2012

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Learnin' ta Cuss!



A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your sweet ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Larry Munsterman passed on this childhood memory.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Just As Good As Mom?

A Woman's Poem!

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the crap out of him...
Like his mother used to do.


Blame Rich Grisius for this one.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

How Far Would You Drive For A Free Lunch???




In the case of JoAnne and I, 3,473 miles. It's not because I haven't been laughing lately that I haven't posted any new blogs. It's because Jo and I were out chasing old memories and new places. About two weeks ago, Friday the Thirteenth, we set out down memory lane to rekindle old (really old) friendships and add some new memory lanes, see some areas we had not yet seen and taste some foods that needed our tasting.

An overnight stop at my sister Mary's house got us started on our culinary adventure. A scrumptious encounter with my very favorite food, an Italian Beef Sangwich set the food bar high for the  remainder of the trip. A quick drive to the Cleveland area got us to Jo's brother Don's home in time for a great Roast Pork and Dumpling dinner.

The next morning found us on the road to Potomac, Maryland where we dropped in on an old buddy from my high school days, Rich Grisius and his high school sweetheart wife, Sylvia. I had not seen the two of them in almost sixty years. After spending a delightful afternoon sitting on the patio sipping sodas we were treated to another delicious home cooked meal. We lingered around the dinner table reminiscing our high school exploits, and hearing tales of the Seven Seas by retired Aircraft Carrier resident dentist, Rich. This kept us up well after normal old folk's bedtime. (I don't think any of us qualify as normal old folks) The next morning, after a delightful breakfast, we were greeted by the weather we had hoped for. Sunny and about eighty degrees. This is why we crammed our stuff in the limited storage space of the convertible in the first place.


We bid Rich and Syl a fond goodbye and set off for the Shenandoah National Park Skyline Drive. This was the day and the road that convertibles are made for. Two days of top down driving through the mountains brought us to the Evans, Georgia doorstep of a couple of Jo's high school classmates, Sally and Glenn (also high school sweethearts). This was my turn to sit by and listen while the three Palatine Pirates relived their past forty or so years. But, I was rewarded for my patience with another delicious home cooked meal.

The next morning we were back in the car and off to Savannah where we toured by bus and boat checking out the charming architecture on land and the local dolphins at sea. Although we had been treated to some great home cooking, the culinary highlight for Jo came in a pile of boiled shrimp at a dive on Tybee Island, The Windy Rose Cafe (more about Diners, Drive-ins and Dives later). She claims that these were the best shrimp she ever tasted but I think that it's just an excuse for her to eat shrimp as often as possible. Not finding any old buddies or buddettes in Savannah we pointed the old Chrysler east to Charleston, South Carolina, our original destination with a stop over in Beaufort, SC. where we explored the town by horse and buggy. On arriving in Charleston we were delighted to find that our time-share was located right in the middle of the historical district so most of the shops and restaurants were within walking distance. Once again we began our visit with a bus tour of the city. We find that it's the best way to acquaint yourself with a place by having someone show you around the high points before you wander aimlessly through unknown territory.


One of my favorite TV shows happens to be Food Network's Diners, Drive-ins and Dives hosted by a overly hip "67 Camero driving Guy Fieri. Much my surprise, when I asked our connoisseur to recommend a spot for breakfast, he pointed out a little place right around the corner which, coincidentally, was featured on Triple D. The place was small, the food was great, the service, sort of slow but, if you got there early enough you could enjoy some a fine meal at one of the four or five tables (plus three outside in the parking lot). If you didn't time it right you would find yourself at the end of a line extending out into the parking lot. Needless to say we got there early and breakfasted there the next two days of our stay and would have done so on the third except they close on Mondays to degrease the place.

Oh yeah! the free lunch. That came after we traveled over 2,000 miles. Our last stop on this little journey was Hilton Head Island where my old friend, colleague and all-around nice guy Mike Gournoe resides with fiancee Sandra. Mike had left his Brownstone on Chicago' Gold Coast and his refurbished church in Mendota, Illinois to relocate on the Island. In his usual manor, Mike took a perfectly fine house and rebuilt it to his taste. The place is too much to explain and, of course, I didn't bother to take any pictures. (Just a hint, all the floors, stairways, bathrooms and counter tops are in matching marble) We timed our arrival just in time for LUNCH. This is where the free lunch comes in. Mike drove to one of his favorite restaurants in the Old Plantation area of the island where we enjoyed good food and of course plenty of hashing over "the good old days". After filling ourselves with both, food and hashing, Mike picked up the check and, considering the mission accomplished, we set sail for home.

Hoping to get home at a reasonable time on Wednesday we drove about twelve hours straight on Tuesday covering seven states in that one day. We spent the night in central Illinois and took a short cut through Iowa that got us home early Wednesday afternoon.  Jo's back at work dreaming of fresh boiled shrimp and plotting her next visit with the grandkids. I'm back here at the keyboard trying to recall some of the more amusing events of the past couple of weeks.

Here's an unrelated something that did bring a big proud smile to this old puss. Grandkid Harrison's robotic team came away World Champions this past weekend in St. Louis. Yea BombSquad!!!

Rich, Syl and I still as good looking as in 1953.

Look Ma, no top!

Typical view while topdowning.

This was my laugh for that day.

Glenn, Jo and Sally. 
(Take away the eye patches and wooden legs . . . still Pirates)

Boats bringing in Jo's lunch. (below)


Jo imitating  Julia Roberts in "Something To Talk About".

"The" Joint for breakfast!

In the courtyard by the fountain having shrimp dreams.

The driving force behind "Blume & Gournoe, Inc."
(plus forty some years and a few pounds)

Home Sweet Home at last!
(After Rich, Sally and Mike's places, it just seems a little plain)

JoAnne has a much more detailed description of our trip and a great many more pictures. I'm sure that she'll be glad to share if you ask. (The magic phrase is "Pretty Please With Boiled Shrimp On It")